Emotions running high

Laying in my hospital bed. It's 11.22pm on Sunday the 17th of November, 2013. The weekend has been emotionally tough - but I'm proud. I've done well. But just now, everything has hit me. Statistics more then anything. Numbers. Facts... Everything that lays just around a short corner from me now is approaching fast. I wish now more then ever I could slow down time. I'm losing at least 5% of my lungs per week. I have a working 30% at the moment... You do the math. I pray this slows down or my lung function stabalizes itself. Or even better... Miraculously goes up. Even if I gain a 5% more just so I can buy more time. My thoughts need to sleep and so do I. Xx